RAISE NOT YOUR HANDS OR VOICE AGAINST FAMILY MEMBERS

by Dr. S. Mathuram Selva Raja

       Worldwide, more violence occurs today at homes than elsewhere in society. Each year millions of people are brutalised and scores of victims land up in hospitals and mental asylums. In several homes, heinous violence is let loose freely on the defenseless leading to nightmares and heart breaks.

          Family violence covers a wide spectrum of cruelties like assaults, verbal abuses, and emotional neglect. In extreme cases, family violence includes death from prolonged assaults, stab wounds, burns, fractures, mutilation of organs, attempted drowning, subdural haematomas, and severe internal injuries. In very exceptional cases, family violence may involve incest.

          Family violence may be triggered by such factors as marital discord, poverty, job insecurity, unemployment, economic strain, status inconsistency, social alienation, chronic ill health, alcoholism and size of family. These conditions can create enormous stress, tension and frustration within the family which may erupt into episodes of violence.

          The orgy of family violence gets on in this world without any check because abusers apparently feel little personal risk when ventilating frustrations on their own family members, who are usually economically dependent on them.

          The devastating impact of family violence is legendary and in terms of human suffering, no other social evil can excel it. The indelible scars inflicted in the minds of victims may lead to life long anguish and sorrow.

          The psychological fallout of family violence is alarming. It may cause incalculable damage to the human personality and mental health.

The impact of family violence on children

          The parental quarrel is highly painful to the child. Just imagine what life might be like for a child with a violent parent. Just imagine what it is to lie in bed listening to the parents fight. Subtle effects of such a violent environment can damage a child emotionally as well as physically.

          It was formerly believed that all mental retardation was the result of faulty genes or of other causes of organic brain pathology. In recent years, however, it has become apparent that adverse socio cultural conditions, particularly those involving a deprivation of normal situation in the family, may play a primary role in the etiology of mental retardation.

Environment of shame
          Children are often used as weapons in parental battles. They are used by one parent in maneuvers against the other. Sometimes, a parent may compel children to be unwilling listeners to complaints about their spouse. Children from such an atmosphere may view the family as an environment of shame.

Sense of insecurity
          In several violent families, the needs of the child is of little importance to their parents. The child is overtly rejected and unwanted. Such neglected children are often haunted by an extreme sense of insecurity and feels like an outsider.

The dangerous fallouts
          In violent homes, children may apprehend violence at any moment. Every minute is spent in fear and anxiety. A constant atmosphere of anger, uncertainty and frustration produces destructive tensions in the child.

          These children may develop behaviour problems like temper tantrums, fighting with peers, unacceptable conduct and truancy. They may also manifest nightmares, poor appetite, lack of self confidence and nervousness. In addition, children who witness violence may develop low self esteem, self hatred, poor control of aggressive impulses, disturbed relationships with others and negative attitudes towards authority. They may also develop failure to thrive syndrome which may hamper their long run career development and upward mobility.

          Many children in violent families may develop enuresis, the habitual involuntary discharge of urine after the age of three. Violence may terrify the child to the extreme extent that the child may fail to acquire sphincter and bowl control. Although enuresis may result from a variety of organic conditions, most researchers have pointed out to disturbed family situations, particularly conditions leading to sustained anxiety as the main contributive factor.

          Children growing up in such violent family atmosphere are more likely to stutter, wet the bed and misbehave. Some children may also develop school phobia. Many cases of school phobia relate to the child’s desire to stay at home and protect the parents from harming one another.

          Children growing in violent environments may develop hyperactivity. Some children may have received so little approval at home that they work intensely for outside approval. They may become obsessive overachievers, courting success at any cost. They may become workaholics and fiercely competitive. Their high expectations of themselves, and consequently their low opinion about others often destroy their relationships with those around them.

          Children reared in violent families are socially ashamed and preoccupied with inner thoughts. They find human contacts more frustrating than rewarding and hence inclined towards less and less interpersonal relationships. They turn inward, detaching from a seemingly dangerous and hostile world. They build a wall around themselves blocking any meaningful interaction with the outside world. Their concentration gets impaired leading to difficulties at school work. Their performance level is reduced.

          Usually the adverse effects of family violence remains latent and are not diagnosed until children enter school and develop serious difficulties in their studies. Since a child’s current level of intellectual functioning is based largely on previous learning, the child is at a disadvantage from the beginning because of his adverse family environment. With each succeeding year, these children tend to fall further behind in school performance unless remedial measures are undertaken.